


Some Days

by Deannie



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Episode: s01e15 Before I Sleep
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-24
Updated: 2013-06-24
Packaged: 2017-12-16 01:14:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/856083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deannie/pseuds/Deannie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>
  <i>missing scene for "Before I Sleep"</i>
</p>
    </blockquote>





	Some Days

**Author's Note:**

> _missing scene for "Before I Sleep"_

I never imagined I'd end up here. 

I'm not just talking about the Pegasus Galaxy--really, who would have even thought such a thing was possible? No, I mean I never imagined being in a position where I'd hold the lives of everyone on the planet in my hands. 

It's... disturbing in the extreme sometimes. And heady, others. Even Teyla looks to me for the answers, and her people aren't even my people. 

Though I suppose I should start believing my own diplomatic words, shouldn't I? We're all human. Which means that, in a galaxy where there are, as Rodney put it, "things called Wraiths that suck the life out of you with their hands," we all have to stick together. 

Some days I feel like it's more than I'm capable of. Keeping Sheppard in line, reigning in Rodney and the rest of the scientists--all of whom remind me more of ten-year-olds with brand new chemistry sets than adults capable of seeing the danger before they walk in... Sometimes I wonder why I ever agreed to take this assignment. 

And then there are days like today. Standing here, the urn in my hand, her... my... ashes floating down over the city, I know the answer. I came here to see what we're capable of. What I'm capable of. Ten thousand years of loneliness. Centuries of waiting for my team to get here. She knew what Atlantis had been like. She knew what it could be like again, if we can find a way to succeed here. 

And we will find a way. I'm sure of that. For all the horror I've seen in the last eight months, I've also seen so much wonder--and so much caring! My team is a family, now; a group as close-knit as any city's population can be. 

We have to preserve that. For us, for the Athosians we've taken into this refuge, for the Atlanteans who built it. The people who set humans among the stars all those millennia ago... 

And for the woman I could have been, whose ashes are slowly mixing with the water that might have killed us all before this ever started. 

I have to go now. Sheppard and his team are waiting. 

And there is so much of this galaxy still left to explore. 

* * * * * * *  
The End 


End file.
